So remember when I shared with you the story of my foray back into painting? And how my first go ’round, though initially painful ended in a pretty positive way? I was so excited, so elated to get back into it! My head was swimming with ideas for this new series of work and I couldn’t wait to dive back in the following weekend. ( Gotta be a weekend painter, I just can’t seem to do it during the week. )
Things did not go as well the second time around.
Mistake #1 | I moved my makeshift studio from the large picture window just off the kitchen into the spare bedroom. Smaller space and not nearly enough light. And the grey blue of the walls in that room are depressing.
Mistake #2 | Reusing an already painted canvas board but not gessoing over the old painting. Rookie mistake. I know better.
Mistake #3 | Not buying gesso. Or perhaps this should have been listed as Mistake #2, as M2 might never have happened had I actually purchased gesso.
Mistake #4 | Trying to utilize the exact same technique used in the first painting even though a different technique was actually working quite well.
Mistake #5 | Walking away and letting the canvas sit for the last week and a half.
So I’ve learned a few lessons from this experience.
Lesson #1 | If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. Should have kept my little “studio” where I had it. Since Mr. Forager was working at the table in the kitchen, I was trying to be considerate and not disturb him ( I like to play music when I paint, sometimes accompanied by questionable singing ). I ended up listening with headphones anyway, so think it would have been just fine to stay put.
Lesson #2 | Don’t try to be cheap or take shortcuts. You’re never happy with the result ( see Mistakes 2 & 3 ).
Lesson #3 | Just because it worked for you the first time doesn’t mean it will work again. See Lesson #1.
Lesson #4 | Get over the fear of sucking. It’s OK to take a break, but don’t let fear freeze you. I am a task-oriented perfectionist. If I can’t do something really well, I hate doing it at all. So this is a hard one for me. But it’s a lesson I need to learn and put into practice. And not just in painting but in every aspect of my life. Friend & fellow blogger Erin at artsocial wrote a great post today about this very issue!
So I am determined to try again. Move the easel back into the sunny spot with the mountain view and try again. Buy some gesso and try again. Get over my fear of failure and try again. And again. And again!
Artsies, how do you do it? How do you overcome that paralyzing fear of getting it wrong? I’m also looking for a little evening creative activity for the iPad. I’m not an evening painter, I’ve learned that over the years. I’m kind of a middle of the afternoon on a Sunday painter. But I would love to have some non-messy creative playtime in the evenings. Any paint-y iPad apps to recommend?
All images by Artsy Forager.
Susan
March 5, 2013 at 4:27 PMWelcome to my world! Even after years of painting experience this battle continues. My suggestions – read “Art & Fear” by David Bayles and Ted Orland. Consider a workshop such as “The Painting Experience” with Stewart Cubley which forces you to focus on the process and not the product. Be curious in your painting and gentle with yourself. Try the “Brushes” app for your iPad – you can watch your painting in a video once it’s complete! And remember – it’s only paint.
Lesley
March 5, 2013 at 6:53 PMThank you for the suggestions, Susan! I actually bought Art & Fear at a used bookstore a few months ago. Maybe I need to move it up the reading list.. 😉
Frances Rice
March 5, 2013 at 5:22 PMI sat down to do some observational drawing last night, and I wasn’t thrilled with my results. It’s been a while since doing much observational drawing for me. I know if I want to improve and return at least to the skill level I had in the past, I have to practice. That being said, creating art is very much about exploring, experimenting, and even flailing! If you don’t push your boundaries, how will you discover a new way of thinking, creating, or solving an artistic problem? Your less than wonderful pieces are not failures. They are baby steps along the path to improvement. I often recycle both abandoned student work and my own work for the collage bin. Don’t give up….relax, play, and have fun!
Lesley
March 5, 2013 at 6:54 PMThank you for the encouragement, Frances!
Karen
March 5, 2013 at 5:45 PMBoth replies above are right on. I might add that it can be a good idea to leave yourself something to expand on for the next painting session. I find it hard to just start from scratch so if I leave myself with an idea, or a colour to explore, or a composition to try….it means I have something to look forward to and to start with. Ending or beginning a painting session with a watercolour ‘doodle’ can be fun too.
I use an app called Asketch…..buttery feeling charcoal to draw with in an app! I also put a photo of a work in progress into Artrage (probably a lot like Brushes) and try out some things on it in the safety of an erasable app.
Lesley
March 5, 2013 at 7:00 PMI like the idea of beginning and ending with a doodle, of sorts.. I do usually have at the very least a color palette I’d like to explore, but sometimes the work goes in a different direction. 😉 When I was learning to paint in college, we were taught to finish a painting in one class period ( a few hours ). This was partly due to there not being a dedicated painting studio at that time and partly due to my professor trying to keep us from over thinking and overworking each canvas. In any case, the practice has definitely stuck with me.. It’s always tough for me to a) not finish a painting in one session or b) go back and try to finish after a period of time has passed. Hoping to break out of that habit!
And thank you for the app suggestion!
Rene
March 5, 2013 at 6:07 PMLeslie, I think most artists deal with the fear of failure on a daily basis. You just have to keep going. I tend to despise every painting I create at one point in time or another. They go ‘into the weeds’ and sometimes make it back out. Sometimes I trash them. Every painting, good or bad, has something to show me.
I recently watched a TED video with author Elizabeth Gilbert on how to continue creating good work after you have had a major success. It was very insightful. Just keep painting!
Susan
March 5, 2013 at 6:14 PMKaren’s idea about leaving something to work on reminded me that I have around six pieces in progress at any given time in my studio. This way if one is a dud I’m not so heartbroken. Start several pieces and switch between them. This also gives you “fresh eyes” when you go back to work on one that you had put aside.
Liz
March 5, 2013 at 7:54 PMTotally normal! Just keep working, it will come. Maybe you could save painting for the day and writing for at night? Glad to hear your getting in that studio, wherever it might be!
Lesley
March 6, 2013 at 11:51 AMPainting during the day and writing at night is an interesting thought, Liz! Although since Mr. F and I share our Mac, I try to get all my computer-y stuff done during the day so that he can do coursework at night. And of course, there’s his nightly viewing of The Daily Show & Colbert ( he’s seriously addicted to those guys! )
Sandra
March 5, 2013 at 8:46 PMIt’s so difficult at times for me to go through the very typical “bad before you get good”. Funnily enough, with photography I’m impatient to get better but I’m fine with being a beginner at it. But with music making it is brutally difficult for me not to be where I’d like to be in my abilities. I expect so much more – I think it’s because I’ve been playing for soooo long.
Lesley
March 6, 2013 at 11:48 AMI feel the same way with so many things, Sandra! I think I put extra pressure on myself because I can look back at where I was and know that at one time it came easy.. By the way, my husband feels the same way about music! I keep having to talk him out of selling his guitar because he gets so discouraged that his playing isn’t where he would like it to be.
Heather McCaw Kerley
March 5, 2013 at 9:08 PMI don’t think it ever gets easier. Have you seen the documentary about Gerhard Richter? It really shows the frustrations of the process and how not every painting really gets there. Luc Tuymans also said in an interview recently that “the first three hours of painting are like hell.” If those two greats are still struggling with it, then I think that’s just what painting is. But I think we keep doing battle because of how much we learn in the process… and the failures make success that much sweeter.
Lesley
March 6, 2013 at 11:44 AMI think you’re right, it will always be a struggle.. Perhaps just some struggles will be sweeter than others! I haven’t seen that doc about Richter but am putting it on my to watch list.
Simon lilly
March 6, 2013 at 3:10 AMInfinite strategies! Stick with the ones that sit best/ are the most useable excuses. I usually have several things on the go at once. When I am unsure of how to proceed or get tired/bored/dissillusioned, I can move on to something else and come back to the stalled project with fresh eyes.
If something is going well, keep on doing it even though it wasn’t in the original plan.
If something is ‘ruined’ keep on with it for a while, or do just one more thing on it before you pack up for the day. Be reckless – it can only make things better!
Don’t expect everything to be ‘good’ or a final product. Some things are just practice runs, or a way to get the feel for other ideas that will only emerge as or after you have done that thing.
The idea of the piece you hold in your head should be the starting point, not the end point! Perfect externalisation of an idea is rare, if not phenomenologically impossible!
Lesley
March 6, 2013 at 11:31 AMI love your advice to “be reckless”! A tough one for me, as anyone who knows me will attest” ;-). But I do want to try!
Christina Baker
March 6, 2013 at 5:27 AMLesley!
You are doing great. Don’t at all be hard on yourself. Everything you wrote about here is 100% normal. I personally don’t gesso over my work. I just start painting over it and allow the other colors to come through. Sometimes that doesn’t work out but then I will put it away and grab a blank canvas. It will get easier as some have said but there will be many days it will seem harder. The best thing is to not “think” about the painting to much and let things dry before adding more. The paints always look so good fresh ad wet but then dry chalky or muddy. Add some gel medium to a dry layer that helps… Blur your vision, squinting, also helps. To me the hardest part is when to stop! Your doing great!
Lesley
March 6, 2013 at 11:29 AMI think this particular canvas really needed gesso or maybe a layer of medium over the old painting, because I was trying to use a spray & wipe technique that worked out beautifully on the last one.. But then old painting kept coming through. I find it so hard to wait between layers! Patience isn’t always my strong suit.. 🙂
m.a.tateishi
March 6, 2013 at 6:26 AMLots of fantastic advice here that I second. I would only say, focus on enjoying the process and not worrying about the final product. Painting is like dating: you’re going to kiss some frogs to get to Prince Charming, but along the way you’ll have fun!
Lesley
March 6, 2013 at 11:26 AMHaha.. Love that analogy!! 😉
Jo Howe
March 6, 2013 at 1:32 PMHi Lesley
I am not going to add advice, because I can see there is a wealth of offerings here, all rather fabulous! Just wanted to say how wonderful the post was, so open and exploring of what all us creatives experience on regular occasions. I find, it’s often the sharing of those thoughts that unlocks something and helps us in our moving forwards.
Onwards.
🙂
Lesley
March 6, 2013 at 4:38 PMThanks so much, Jo! Since we move so often, it can be a rather solitary existence, especially as Mr. F works in healthcare so most of the people I meet through him are wonderful, yet not usually of an artsy nature.. ;-). I love having a little artsy support group here to vent to! I know you have all been exactly where I am and I take great comfort and gain strength from your encouragement!
Adrienne J
March 6, 2013 at 1:41 PMI’m a weekend painter too! I didn’t get to any painting until Sunday at like 4 last weekend. I just can’t do it, lol. The only way I get over my fear of screwing up is knowing that I CAN paint over it if I feel like I should.
Lesley
March 6, 2013 at 4:39 PMRight?! There’s always so much else to do.. The best paint days for me are when Mr. F is brewing beer! He brew, I paint. 😉