Re-entering the real world after so many hours, weeks, months spent by my mom’s side has been more of a struggle than I might have imagined. There was, of course, a desire for a return to normality, to get back to a world in which each ring of the phone didn’t follow with a sense of fear and foreboding. But lurking constantly, just beneath the surface, are emotions that threaten to float to the top of my throat, sting my eyes, and take over.
I’m trying to walk the line between acknowledging and allowing those emotions but not giving them complete control. It is natural to feel this swirl of hurt for someone I loved so fiercely and miss so terribly. But as much as she would appreciate and understand those emotions, she would absolutely hate to see me overcome by them. So I let them come and then I let them go.
The images above are photographs by artist Kim Keever. See more of Kim’s work at his website.
All images are via the artist’s website.
Portia Monberg
July 17, 2015 at 9:59 AMHi Lesley. I’m so sorry for your loss and I admire your ability to write so honestly and eloquently about your experience. I lost my father very suddenly last summer so I have some understanding of what you’re going through. Honestly it still hurts every day, but the depth of pain slowly lessens over time. I found it helpful to take things day-by-day. Sending positive thoughts your way.
Artsy Forager
July 17, 2015 at 10:26 AMThanks so much, Portia! This week especially the work featured really spoke to the emotions I’ve been feeling and this outlet helps me get them out. I’m so sorry for the loss of your father. Losing a parent always seems to shake our foundation in ways other losses do not. Love to you!